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Last Updated on November 4, 2021
One Year After Aliyah
A light-hearted look at 20 things I’ve learned
- Even though they teach you the word “savlanut” or patience, no one seems to have any.
- Pray that when the serviceman says he is coming on Tuesday, that he means this coming Tuesday and not one of the other 51 Tuesdays this year.
- Although irons are readily available, they are obsolete, no one wears ironed clothes.
- Even though you signed a guarantee check for the furniture and appliances in your apartment, nothing works properly and your landlord wont do anything about it.
- A weekend is Sefad constitutes going away for the summer.
- More than half your wardrobe is in a suitcase in a place called the “boidum” – pray the weather doesn’t change overnight!
- Doggy-do on the sidewalk is part of the eco-cycle and dog owners don’t always believe in removing it.
- All the tenants in your building know how much you earn and how much your rent or mortgage is. There is no shame in asking.
- You can participate in a “minyan” on the train from Tel-Aviv.
- Saying “die already” to your parents means “stop it” and is not wishing them an early demise.
- Do not buy blue crepe toilet paper even though it is cheaper.
- Four square meters of undergrowth next to your apartment, constitutes a garden.
- The words villa and cottage have a different definition in an Israeli dictionary. No matter what, they are smaller than what we are used to.
- You can negotiate a parking fine and generally get out of it.
- You can have your groceries delivered to your door – let someone else break their backs.
- No one will refund your money – once you’ve parted with it, it is gone for good.
- You should have an overdraft
- You can have friends over “for watermelon“
- You should buy your kids state-of-the-art bicycles, even if they can only ride them on Yom Kippur
- Some people eat Matzah all year