Wednesday, 05 August 2020
Local Time In Israel Asia - Jerusalem

 

Pesach

Pesach related articles

(Reading time: 2 - 3 minutes)

Best Pesach jokes that will crack you up!

This Pesach, in the hard dark days of the Coronavirus, we all need something to brighten our days.  Here are some cute jokes, funnies and one-liners to keep the mood of a joyful Seder night.

jewish jokes full size

The four questions

Q: Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?

A: So we can Seder right words.


Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?

A: A matzochist.


Q. What kind of cheese can you eat on Pesach?

A. Matza-rella


Q. Who was the best business woman in the bile?

A. Pharaoh's daughter, she pulled a profit out of the water.


It seems a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.


Top 10 Reasons to Celebrate Passover

1. Save money by using last year’s Matzah (it won’t taste any different and you haven’t thought of eating it since then)

2. You can put your elbows on the table

3. Maror is a better remedy for sinuses than any prescription medication.

4. Four cups of wine (and if Elijah doesn’t show up, there’s a 5th!!)

5. The extra cash from selling your Chometz will come in handy.

6. The required cleaning of the refrigerator gives you a reason to throw out that old milk container.

7. You actually eat the parsley.

8. A good reason to use your wooden spoon, candle, and feather collection.

9. Think of all the toilet paper you save by eating Matzah for a week.

10. To remember that it was actually Charlton Heston who led us out of Egypt.


An exhausted Mrs. Cohen to her best friend: You know Zelda, I've been working so hard doing all the preparations for Pesach, do you want to join me now and we'll have our 4 glasses of wine earlier than usual?


Below the Belt Jokes

I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.


If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?


You must not be kosher for Passover because you're making my matza rise.


Which commandment do you want to break?


Why is this night different than all other nights? I'll show you why...


Don't worry I won't pass-over you.


After getting lost for 40 years I've think I've finally found what I was looking for


Can I dip my maror in your charoset.

 

 

(Reading time: 2 - 4 minutes)

Favorite, top-voted matzah toppings.

One of the challenges of Pesach is finding a way to make matzah palatable especially for kids and picky eaters. Sweet or savory, vegan, pescatarian, inspired by the Italian, French, Hawaiian or Eastern European kitchen, we wanted to know what the favorite matzah topping is for Pesach 2019 and if the latest trends for sandwich-fillings like Italian meatballs, Piri Piri chicken, cucumber and watercress spill over onto matzah.

Results of a fun poll in our Facebook group, show the favorite matzah toppings of all times.  Respondents were invited to add to the list and no distinction between kitniyot or kitniyot-free was made.

What we know about our respondents

This was a fun poll - nothing scientific but we do have some information and demographics on the respondents.

  • The average age of respondents is 45 and we can safely say that they have eaten a fair amount of Matzah in their lifetimes.
  • Approximately 30 per cent of respondents are male.
  • About 70 per cent of respondents come from Israel's English speaking Oleh community and currently live in Israel.
  • Although close to 70 per cent of respondents live in Israel not one single person voted for Hummous (which is kitniyot), an Israeli staple, as a favorite matzah topping.

A total of 240 votes were collected - one was for ham-and-cheese which we felt had no place in a Pesach survey and so the results listed here are based on 239 votes instead.

favorite matzah toppings

Butter, in spite of the current shortage in Israel still ranks as the number one matzah topping. Gratefully, imported spreadable butters ensure that this snack is ready to eat within seconds and also prevents broken pieces of matzah and matzah crumbs everywhere.

If you are interested in the Halacha regarding Vegemite or Marmite (yeast extract) we suggest you ask your Rabbi or religious authority. 

Jamie Geller - 'The Queen of Kosher' and 'The Jewish Rachel Ray' suggests 8 different matzah pizza options

 

Pesach resources your friends used...

 

 

(Reading time: 1 - 2 minutes)

No oleh alone for Pesach 2019

Host or be hosted with Keep Olim in Israel 's 'No Olen Alone for Pesach' program. Register here (6 language options).

no oleh alone

 

 

 

 

 

(Reading time: 2 - 4 minutes)

Candle-lighting blessings for Pesach (Passover).

Jewish women are obligated to perform 3 mitzvot (special deeds); 1) Hafrashat Challah - separating the Challah bread for Shabbat  2) Exercising the laws of Family Purity and 3) Blessing the Shabbat and Festival candles.

candle lighting for pesach

Blessings on Passover Candles

The standard blessisng for festival candles - when Passover falls on a regular weekday

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אַדֹנָ-י אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל יום טוב

English Translation: Blessed are you, L‑rd our G‑d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the light of the holiday

Transliteration: Baruch a-ta A-do-nay Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam a-sher ki-di-sha-nu bi-mitz-vo-tav vi-tzi-va-noo li-had-leek ner shel Yom Tov.

Shabbat & Passover

When Shabbat and the first night of Passover coincide we say the following candle blessing

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אַדֹנָ-י אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שבת ויום טוב

English Translation: Blessed are you, L‑rd our G‑d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the light of the Sabbath and the holiday

Transliteration: Baruch a-ta A-do-nay Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam a-sher ki-di-sha-nu bi-mitz-vo-tav vi-tzi-va-noo li-had-leek ner shel Shabbat Ve Yom Tov.

Shehechiyanu

On the first night of a festival it is customary to recite the Shehechiyanu blessing, after the blessing for the candles, as follows:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה

English Translation: Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.

Transliteration: Baruch Atah Adonay E-loi-hei-nu Me-lech ha-o-lam she-he-chee-ya-nu v'ki-yi-ma-nu vi-hi-gi-ya-nu liz-man ha-zeh.

2nd night of Passover

On the seond night of Passover (only in the Diaspora) candles are lit for a second time, from an existing flame, and this is the blessing

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אַדֹנָ-י אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל יום טוב

English Translation: Blessed are you, L‑rd our G‑d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the light of the holiday

Transliteration: Baruch a-ta A-do-nay Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam a-sher ki-di-sha-nu bi-mitz-vo-tav vi-tzi-va-noo li-had-leek ner shel Yom Tov.

Shehechiyanu is not recited on the 2nd night.

Candle lighting times for Passover

 

 

 

(Reading time: 2 - 3 minutes)

Medications Kosher for Pesach - תרופות כשרות לפסח

medications kosher for pesach

Image credit - Unsplash

Are your medications kosher for Pesach? Make sure!

The Torah lays out a whole system of dietary laws that Jews observe throughout the year;  the separation meat and dairy, the rule against eating certain animals, the regulations for kosher slaughter and the prohibition of eating certain parts of certain animals.

When Pesach arrives, an additional set of dietary rules apply for the length of the holiday. Jews are prescribed from eating any foods that contain leaven or leavening agents (chametz).

When it comes to medication certain medications are permitted during the year even though they are not kosher. When Pesach comes, the question arises whether the restrictions of Passover would preclude their use.

A patient who is not seriously ill may not take any medicine which contains even a small amount of edible chametz.

Can I take these? Kupat Holim Clalit has just published a list of medications that are kosher for Pesach 2019.  Click here to access the Pesach kosher medication list.

Learn new Hebrew words

The Ashkenazi/Yiddish pronunciation of the word 'chametz' is 'chometz', however in Hebrew 'chometz' is vinegar.

 

Word Hebrew Spelling Word Hebrew Spelling
chametz חמץ chometz חומץ

 

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